Title: A Maneuvering Business

 

Author: Christi (christim@comcast.net)

 

Rating: Err…uh…we’ll call it 13+. Because occasionally, in their starched shirts and high-waisted dresses, they have very veiled and polite references to sex and naked ankles.

 

Category: Insanity in fic format. (Otherwise known as very, very AU/romance.)

 

Summary: “Marriage is indeed a maneuvering business.” ~Mansfield Park

 

Author’s Note: This fic is the highly crack!ified result of an extended conversation with control_freak80, too much sugar, and my 50th viewing of the Colin Firth edition of Pride & Prejudice. Suddenly, there was a whole mess of people prodding me to actually write the insanity. (You know who you are. I curse you all.) As I obviously have no willpower at all, I caved, thus producing the crack!fic before you. Of course, somewhere along the line, it sort of…spiraled completely out of control, taking on a life of its own. The end result is a very long AU fic that utilizes pretty much every cliché known to man, rips off a part of almost all of Jane Austen’s plots, and is probably insufferably OOC. But I tend to think it’s rather lovable despite all that. As always, thank to my betas: control_freak80, caroly_214, and kate98.

 

Dedication: I don’t normally bother with dedications, as I tend to think it’s a bit pretentious for fanfic, but this had to be dedicated to control_freak80, who’s been there listening to me ramble and obsess over this fic daily since the crazy night of LJ posting that spawned it. I feel like it’s nearly as much her baby as it is mine.

 

--

 

“Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings.”

                                                                                     ~Mansfield Park

 

--

 

Small towns are worlds of their own, predictable in their tedium and intrigues alike. The village of Gateshire, England, was not unusual in this regard—it had long ago established its own particular daily routines and scandalous characters and was quite content to continue in this mundane fashion. The post always arrived every other Wednesday, church on Sundays consistently ran over by eleven minutes, and everyone knew that the cobbler’s daughter in town could repair a shoe a week and a half before her father would even begin.

 

Perhaps it was not the most exciting way of life, but most residents of Gateshire found it acceptable enough. There was always something to do, someplace to go, and someone to gossip about. And if these events all seemed important at the time, but were later reflected upon as rather insignificant, well then, there were worse things than living a harmless (if somewhat inconsequential) life.

 

Of course, nothing stays the same forever, not even places like Gateshire. People come, people go, and society adapts as it sees fit. One event that precipitated such a shift in society was the news that the long-abandoned estate of Cheyenne on the north side of town had finally been purchased.

 

While not quite the largest of the local estates, Cheyenne Manor came in as a close second. Anyone who had the means to simply buy such a property, sight unseen, was worthy of plenty of speculation. It wasn’t long before the rumors began to circulate about the new landlord and his background.

 

It seemed to be a truth universally agreed upon that he was a war hero of some kind—well respected in the army and regretfully retired before his time. That singular fact was the only detail that could be agreed upon by the general population, the rest of the reports being so dissimilar and some so ludicrous that no one knew quite what to expect with his approaching arrival.

 

Some insisted that he had married a foreign savage and had spent time living among them in Africa—and not in one of the more civilized ports of harbor set up on the southern-most part of the continent, either. Some heard that he was a deaf-mute, having lost his senses in some undisclosed battle on distant soil. There were reports of blood feuds and exotic pastimes and some horrible tragedies, all so muddled that no sense could be made of them.

 

Perhaps the most disturbing to some was his supposed Irish heritage, but it was easily dismissed because no one knew of any Irishman rich enough to afford luxuries like the grand Cheyenne Manor.

 

--

 

In actuality, Colonel Jack O’Neill was Irish, but the connection was such a distant one that all he had retained from the oft-cursed island was his surname and his somewhat questionable sense of humor.

 

As for the other reports, well, there was a strange mixture of truth and falsehood in them that only the man himself could clarify—and he was certainly in no hurry to do so. When he finally did arrive just after spring planting, the rumors were left by the wayside as people became fascinated by the oddity that was the actual man.

 

He had brought with him scant few belongings, two general servants and a notoriously efficient Man of Affairs named Walter Harriman. Perhaps most scandalous of all was his last traveling companion—a tall, large, and completely foreign fellow who rode in robes of unknown fabrics and had skin the color of freshly-plowed earth. As if that wasn’t enough, tattoos in an alien tongue glistened on his skin in black and gold and his name was unlike any Christian name the residents of Gateshire had ever heard—Teal’c.

 

The town at large may have been able to digest these particular oddities easily enough, especially for a high-ranking military man of wealth (and conveniently, handsome appearance) such as Colonel O’Neill. But before the town had a chance to adjust, the newcomer’s questionable behavior only increased. He refused to visit anyone, even his closest neighbors the Langfords, who were widely known and respected. When people went to visit him, as decorum demanded of new neighbors, he was in turn either moderately civil or downright abrupt. He rejected invitations to parties and balls, and generally holed up in his newly acquired house without much regard to the opinions of those who surrounded him, which is, as everyone is well aware, the worst sin of all in a small town.

 

In truth, it was his intention to offend no one; Colonel O’Neill had the sole desire to be left to his own devices and mind his own business. The country, he had thought, would offer more solace and peace than the hectic and overwhelming pace of life in London. Whether that idea had any merit, he was, as of yet, uncertain.

 

A fortnight after his arrival, the general consensus was that Gateshire was wholly unimpressed with Colonel O’Neill. Behind closed doors, however, no one person had been the object of so much discussion since the Earl of Langford’s niece, Vala Maldoran, had run off with a traveling band of gypsies while she had been visiting her great uncle for the summer. Men thought he was rude and brilliant in turn, women believed him to be mysterious and romantic, and children began to dare each other to sneak onto Cheyenne Manor’s land as a test of bravery.

 

Jack O’Neill was predictably oblivious to it all.

 

--

 

“His manners required intimacy to make them pleasing.”                               

                                                                                           ~Sense and Sensibility

 

--

 

This all might have remained the state of affairs for quite some time had a random but fortuitous series of events not occurred. The first was that Colonel O’Neill had taken to going on morning walks, exploring the acres of woods and fields now under his purview. The second was that the fencing that separated his property from that of his neighbor’s was in a rather piteous state of disrepair, and sheep from both estates had been wandering back and forth across the border for some time. The third was that the Carters, long-time residents of Vorash Hall and the aforementioned neighbors, were perhaps even more infamous than the Colonel himself for their oddity.

 

Separately, none of the facts would have amounted to anything particularly notable, but when combined, they led to Colonel O’Neill wandering rather aimlessly through the woods on his far property line when a rather muddy shoe fell from a tree above and landed with a solid thump squarely atop his head.

 

Understandably bewildered, he bent over to pick up the offending piece of footwear. “What in heaven’s name…?”

 

“I did not throw it at you,” an undeniably female voice said from the tree above him. “It just slipped off.”

 

He looked from the shoe to the tree and back again. “I am not certain I believe you.”

 

“Have you ever tried to climb a tree in shoes like that? Not practical at all. No grip.”

 

“Well, why didn’t you wear more appropriate footwear then?” he asked, not bothering to ask why his mystery conversation companion was in the tree in the first place—that, he assumed, would be revealed in due time.

 

“I didn’t know I was going to be climbing trees today, now did I?” she pointed out rationally. “But this tree has the best view of the fence, and I needed to see where it’s broken through.” She was silent a moment before adding, “Now that I think of it, I should have thrown that shoe at you.”

 

Feeling more than a little disconcerted by this statement from a mysterious tree-dwelling stranger, the Colonel stared up into the branches of the tree above him. “Have I done something to incur your wrath?”

 

“The fence is on your property, and therefore, your responsibility. Yet, when you neglect it, it’s my sheep that go missing. So, other than leaving it in its current pathetic state of disrepair, no, you have done nothing to provoke me. But I am certain you will eventually. Consider the shoe an advance against future wrongs.”

 

Not really knowing the correct response, as Jack O’Neill wasn’t exactly the most refined in everyday situations, let alone scenarios involving renegade slippers, he merely said what was on his mind. “In that case, shouldn’t I get both shoes? Best to get a head start on these things, you know.”

 

Something that sounded suspiciously like an indelicate snort reached his ears right before a second shoe sailed straight at him. This one he managed to catch before it hit anything vital. “Well, you certainly are a singularly unique sort of man.”

 

“Coming from the young lady in the tree, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

 

“Ah, but I shall soon be in a tree no longer. I’m coming down,” she corrected before a flash of a muddy petticoat and white ankles entered his line of sight. He turned because it was the gentlemanly thing to do, or so he supposed—not that he was feeling particularly like a gentleman at the current moment.

 

Or that he ever did, really. Still, it seemed best to at least try.

 

A gentle thud sounded as a body hit the ground behind him, and when he turned around he finally caught glimpse of his mystery woman. Not nearly as young as she sounded, he decided as he studied her flushed face. But beautiful in an uncommon kind of way—wide blue eyes and coils of golden hair and a smile unlike anything he had ever seen—and Colonel O’Neill had seen a lot in his time. “May I have a name to put to the face of my attacker?” he asked, trying to be charming.

 

“Samantha Carter. My father owns Vorash Hall, just south of here. And you’re Colonel O’Neill.”

 

“How did you…?”

 

She took one shoe from him, then the other, using his shoulder to balance herself while slipping them back on, as though such a casual display of intimacy was an everyday occurrence. “News travels quickly in Gateshire—gossip even faster. You’re rather infamous these days.”

 

Not quite certain how to feel about that, the Colonel decided to circumvent the issue entirely. “Well, I am pleased to meet you, flying footwear and all. And I will be sure to send someone out to look at the fence as soon as I get back to the house.”

 

She had the grace to look a bit embarrassed by the whole incident now that she had two feet firmly planted on the ground, both literally and figuratively speaking. “Thank you, on both accounts.”

 

Perhaps it was Teal’c’s influence, but he found himself bowing ever so slightly in response. “Of course.”

 

Seemingly flustered, Miss Carter flushed. “Yes, well. I should return. Mr. Siler, my Man of Affairs, wanted to discuss tenant rates this afternoon.”

 

Surprised in spite of himself, O’Neill spoke before he had a chance to think about what he was saying. “Is that really a matter with which you need concern yourself?”

 

Stiffening, Miss Carter glared rather indecorously in his direction. “Why? Because I’m a woman?”

 

He was fairly certain that there was no safe response to such a query. “Well, it is certainly not usual for a lady of your position to attend to such matters.” He may have forgotten a lot about British gentility in his years of travel, but that much was very clear.

 

“Perhaps. I, however, am not very ‘usual.’”

 

With that, she flounced off through the trees, leaving a somewhat bewildered Colonel staring after her. He wondered how long it would take Walter to discover what he could about his new neighbor—for once, he had a bit of an interest in the matter.

 

--

 

Walter would have little trouble in uncovering information about the Carter family, or even Samantha Carter in particular—she was a favorite subject of discussion in town. It seemed that her entire existence was a string of social gaffes, each more shocking and unseemly than the last. They began in her childhood and continued into a timeframe as recent as last week—though if the gossipmongers had known of the incident in the woods that afternoon, that estimate would have been revised once again.

 

The Carter family was respected and ridiculed in almost equal measure. They came from a long history of money and good breeding, and General Carter was widely known as a hero in the Royal Army. However, his near constant absence since the death of his wife almost two decades ago had endeared him to no one in Gateshire, and the fact that he let his daughter run his estate rather than hire some kind of manager was considered by some to be downright offensive. Luckily, he was rarely around for anyone to tell him so, and when he was present, no one would have dared mention it.

 

Samantha herself was the real cause for concern in the minds of many citizens. The disgrace of being raised without any female role models to speak of was bad enough, and her behavior only highlighted the indelicacies such neglect had given rise to. Naturally headstrong, obstinate, and outspoken, the general opinion was that she knew entirely too much about business, math, and science and not enough about more proper subjects like music, art, or embroidery. (In truth, she was actually quite an accomplished piano player—but only because as a young child she had learned to relate it to math, calculating the frequencies of octaves and intervals. Nothing could get under Samantha’s skin so well as an unresolved chord.)

 

Unfortunately, despite her many faults, it was a bit difficult to actively dislike Samantha Carter. She had a brilliance that shone, even through her sometimes considerable temper, as well as the gift of charming people without any particular effort that had served her well on more than one occasion. It had also led to what was perhaps the largest blemish on her reputation as a respectable young woman—the string of jilted fiancés she could boast to. Most had lost count of the exact number of men that had flitted in and out of Samantha’s life, but the fact was that they were both very numerous and very dismissed.

 

But none of that mattered where she was headed this particular morning—on a visit to one of her tenants and closest friends, Janet Fraiser.

 

Her continued camaraderie with the town’s midwife was yet another strike on young Samantha’s record of public opinion. Besides being more than a degree or two lower than Samantha on the social ladder, Janet Fraiser was generally considered a public menace—until someone found themselves in the midst of a particularly difficult labor, that is.

 

Mrs. Fraiser had married young, and though the marriage had been a good one for someone of her family and wealth, the middle-aged son of a relatively prosperous local farmer, it was apparently fraught with marital discord. After three years, she had left her husband, taking it upon herself to move into a small cottage on the Carter estate, paid for with the profits of her midwifery and the various other small medicinal services she offered to passersby. When the man she had married died unexpectedly in a farming accident several years later, she seemed genuinely undisturbed by the news—she hadn’t even donned the traditional black of a mourning widow.

 

To make matters worse, several years ago she had aided a young servant girl who had found herself in a family way out of wedlock. It had been a difficult delivery and while she had managed to save the baby, the young mother had died. Instead of doing the expected and sending the child away to an orphanage in the city, Janet had chosen to take the baby under her own wing, raising it alone. As Miss Carter was the only person in three provinces who had supported her decision, she had become the child’s godmother. So a friendship was forged that lasted to this day, much to the disdain of the general public.

 

Of course, Samantha Carter had long ago given up caring about the opinion of the general public, which is why she gave no thought to strolling down the lane to see her friend on this or any other morning.

 

“Good morning, Cassie,” she called to the girl hanging laundry on a line in the yard.

 

Taking the excuse to abandon her chores, the eleven-year-old girl ran to her enthusiastically, wrapping her in a hug so tight that Samantha struggled to breathe. Ruefully, Samantha thought that if everyone showed affection so easily, the world might be a much friendlier place. “Sam! Did we know you were coming?”

 

“No, I was just on my way home and thought I’d stop by. Where’s your mother?”

 

“In the kitchen. She was mashing something when I checked last.”

 

Besides being a midwife, Janet had a considerable talent for making poultices and teas. Everyone in the town used them, although no one admitted to it. Janet didn’t particularly care one way or the other, as long as she was paid.

 

After one last hug, Samantha head inside, ducking through the low threshold and smiling at the sight of her friend elbow-deep in herbs. “There you are.”

 

Janet smiled, wiping her hands on her apron to go and greet her friend. “Yes, as usual. What a pleasant surprise! Can you stay long? I could make some tea.”

 

“Regretfully, no. There are some business matters that need dealing with. I’ve been avoiding them, and you know how these things tend to stack up when you’re not paying attention. I just came by to see if you had any of that poultice for cuts and scrapes that I could purchase from you.”

 

A cupboard wedged into the far corner was laden heavy with mysterious jars and bottles; Janet picked out one easily and handed it to her. “Don’t be ridiculous, just take it. What did Mr. Siler manage to do to himself this time?”

 

Mr. Siler was known throughout this county as being one of the best men around—and also one of the most prone towards incident. “To be honest, I’m not certain. I know a plow was involved. One moment, he was fine, and the next he’s got another gash.”

 

The slightly older woman nodded serenely. “Men are like children in that respect—and many others.” Quickly exasperated with the subject of the opposite sex, Janet turned her eye to Samantha’s somewhat haphazard appearance, which really wasn’t that unusual. “You really should just try wearing those old trousers of your father’s if you’re going to prance around the countryside like you do. Much more practical.”

 

Ruefully studying her muddied petticoats, part of Samantha silently agreed. “Yes, well, one scandal at a time. I’ve been unseemly enough for one day, and it isn’t past noon yet.”

 

Delighted (but, to her credit, trying not appear as if she was), Janet smiled. “Do tell.”

 

Waving her hands as if to brush the whole matter into nothingness, Samantha humored her dear friend and began to relate the events of her morning. “I was checking on the fences this morning and ran into the new proprietor of Cheyenne Manor.”

 

“So he does exist,” Janet remarked dryly. “And? How did you find him?”

 

Hesitant of her feelings on the matter, Samantha fretted over the matter. “Vexing. And diverting. And…I’m not quite certain, really.”

 

Janet knew that for Samantha, such uncertainty was an altogether uncommon occurrence. “I was in a tree and he—well, I accosted him.”

 

Her friend blinked in surprise. “Samantha, I know I’ve been pressing you to expand the limitations of your role in society, but even I think that’s going a bit too far.”

 

“Oh, no! It was an accident. My shoe fell off.” The delicate skin of her pale cheeks flushed a bit as she admitted, “I think he may have seen my ankle.”

 

At that, Janet merely rolled her eyes. “Heaven forbid.”

 

--

 

“One man's ways may be as good as another's, but we all like our own best.”

                                                                                                                ~Persuasion

 

--

 

Walter Harriman, Esq., had been watching for the return of his employer all morning, and so when the man finally approached the house from the east, he was so relieved that he didn’t at first notice the decided difference in Colonel O’Neill’s manner. “Sir,” he said, falling in step with the Colonel, “I have several forms for you sign. Also, the post has come this morning. There were three invitations to dinner and one to a ball of some sort that you’ll need to take into consideration. And finally, the housekeeper has brought a rather troublesome matter to my attention…”

 

O’Neill barely glanced at him, an event that was too-oft repeated for Walter’s preference. “Yes, yes, Walter, but I’m sure you can handle all that. Have you seen Teal’c?”

 

In point of fact, Walter made it a point to know where the exotic man was at all times, in part because O’Neill invariably would ask and in part because Walter had a slight fear of the man. “Last I saw him, he was in the study. Sir, I really need you to look at some of these…”

 

For a blessed moment, Walter though he might be making progress, because O’Neill actually took some of the items that Walter had been waving in his general direction. However, as they headed into the house, he gave them little more than a passing glance, instead calling out, “Teal’c! Oh, Teeeaaaaal’c…”

 

Appearing silently and without warning, the large black man emerged. “I am here, O’Neill.”

 

Walter jumped about a foot at the sound of his voice and then spent the five minutes after that pretending as if he hadn’t. O’Neill, of course, didn’t even flinch.

 

“Teal’c, good! Listen, there’s a fence that needs mending. Care to lend a hand?”

 

At this, Walter felt a pressing need to chime in. “Sir, really, we can send someone out to…”

 

Teal’c bowed slightly. “I would be pleased to aid you in your task, O’Neill.”

 

Walter sighed. Of course he would.

 

“Excellent!” Looking around the formal room vaguely, O’Neill continued, “We’ll need tools…”

 

Knowing that it was now a lost cause, Walter supplied, “In the stables, sir. I’ll have someone bring out the necessary equipment.”

 

For this, he received an enthusiastic slap on the back. “Thank you, Walter!”

 

Walter just nodded and walked back towards the exit, wondering yet again why he had taken this position.

 

--

 

Having finished most of her business matters for the time being, Samantha Carter now found herself in a position to while away some time. Of course, while she excelled in many things (despite all public opinion to the contrary), being aimless in her pursuits was not one of them.

 

Luckily, her good friend Daniel Jackson had visited the prior afternoon, and being the wonderful friend that he was, had provided her with several of the most recent scientific journals. There was not a day that passed by that Samantha was not glad for Daniel Jackson’s friendship, and thus, for the turn of events that had precipitated his somewhat unique position in life. The best that could be said for his true blood lines was that they were unobjectionable, which wasn’t saying very much at all. However, as a young man, he had found himself the victim of tragic circumstances when both of parents perished in a boating accident.

 

Having no other relations willing or able to take him in, life would likely have been very unkind to poor Daniel had fate not intervened in the form of Lord Langford, the Earl of Abydos. He resided in Abydos Abbey on the south side of Gateshire and was one of Gateshire’s most esteemed citizens. Lord Langford’s only child, a daughter named Catherine, had determined not to wed, having lost her fiancé decades ago in a mysterious disappearance at sea. At the loss of any promise for heirs, Lord Langford had taken in Daniel, who had already proved himself to be a particularly bright child.

 

All of this was little consequence to Samantha except that it meant Daniel had access to several of the newest publications in the areas of scientific discovery, a subject upon which Samantha could dwell for endless hours. Ever obliging and willing to encourage his friend’s somewhat unique interests, Daniel normally brought over whatever he could find when he came to call, and yesterday had been no exception.

 

Happily locating one of the aforementioned pamphlets, Samantha set out across the hills, preferring to do her reading in the solitude of the countryside rather than in the house that always seemed too stuffy and over-crowded with servants and the like. While she traveled in no conscious direction, it was perhaps not only by chance that she wandered to the far boundary of her family’s extensive property.

 

To be fair, Samantha was so engrossed in her reading that she took note of very little around her, including the sounds of conversation and hammering floating over the breeze towards her. She was only pulled violently out of her science-induced reverie when a very loud and really, very rude curse was yelled in the air by a definitively masculine voice, one she already recognized: Colonel O’Neill.

 

Looking up, she was startled to find herself nearly upon the Colonel and his companion, both of whom were focused on her, though the Colonel was shaking his hand where he seemed to have just hit it squarely with a hammer. But more startling than his expression of shock and pain or his companion’s alien appearance was the fact that both men (who had assumedly been working outside for some time) had completely divested themselves of their shirts, leaving only an expanse of muscled, sweaty, and tan skin visible in the sunshine. 

 

“Oh. Oh! Oh, I...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude. I was just…well, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going, you see, and….” She began to back away, flustered. “I do apologize.”

 

Before she could flee completely, O’Neill called out to her. “Miss Carter! Please, it’s all right. As I was informed just this morning, the land on the east side of this fence belongs to you and you alone—you have intruded nowhere.”

 

Turning back and wondering if she’d ever recover from this mortifying experience, Samantha tried to make amends while doing her best to look everywhere but at the two men before her. “Yes, well…all the same…”

 

O’Neill simply shrugged it off. “Do not let it worry you further.” A moment of awkward silence descended upon them and Samantha shifted silently, wondering if there was some social etiquette lesson she had missed that allowed for situations such as these. “Oh! Miss Carter, this is my comrade and good friend, Teal’c. Teal’c, this is Miss Carter.”

 

Embarrassment lost against curiosity and Samantha performed a pretty curtsy in the big man’s direction. “A pleasure to meet you, sir.”

 

His bow was more of a tilt of the head, regal and strangely flattering. “And you, Miss Carter.”

 

Finding his quiet demeanor soothing to her somewhat frazzled nerves, Samantha studied the markings that adorned his body. When she realized that he was watching her, she blushed a bit. “Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be rude; I was just admiring them. Are you of Egyptian descent, then? They seem very similar to the markings my father would on occasion copy down in letters to me.”

 

Her interest, rather than being offensive, seemed to please Teal’c and surprise O’Neill. “Indeed, Miss Carter, I originated in Egypt, though I have traveled far since that time.”

 

“I would say so,” she replied with a bit of a laugh in her voice. Though he did not laugh in return, she thought he saw the spark of humor in his deep eyes and it eased her mind further.

 

After the short moment of silence that was so common among new acquaintances, O’Neill started a new subject, while trying to subtly reach for his discarded clothing. “What were you reading? You were so enthralled…”

 

Looking down at her surprisingly forgotten pamphlet, she fingered it a moment. “Oh. An Experimental Enquiry Concerning the Source of the Heat which is Excited by Friction.”

 

O’Neill paused in the fluid movement of buttoning his shirt, seemingly a bit bewildered. “Pardon me?”

 

An Experimental Enquiry Concerning the Source of the Heat which is Excited by Friction,” she recited once again. “It’s a new theory from Benjamin Thompson on the validy of thermodynamics as seen through the old caloric model. Very controversial, because he challenges the old belief that…” Seeing that his eyes had taken on a strange sort of glazed look to them, she stopped. “It’s just a bit of light reading,” she finally offered a bit sheepishly.

 

For a moment there was no reaction at all, but then the corner of his mouth turned up in a strange sort of half-smile that Samantha found strangely attractive. It even distracted her from the fact that he was tying his tie completely incorrectly. “Right. And here we thought we were being highly intellectual in our meager attempts to fix a fence.”

 

She glanced down at the fence, then back at him. “Definitely not. You’re doing it wrong.”

 

--

 

Studying the fence, Jack could not find any significant fault with it, so he wasn’t entirely certain what Miss Carter was talking about. “I’m afraid I don’t understand. I fashioned this joint after the rest of the fences surrounding my property.”

 

“Yes, to the woe of all your neighbors,” she replied, crouching next to him and running a strangely capable hand down the wood of a crossbeam. “The previous owner of your home cared more for his pocketbook than he did for the welfare of his neighbors or even his animals. As such, all of your fences were built quickly and cheaply. But if you take more time and cross-support the beams here and here, it will last you twice as long. Perhaps longer still if the winters aren’t too harsh.”

 

Now that she explained it and had pointed out the precise location of the flaws, they seemed glaringly obvious, explaining the general tilt to the fence that had been perplexing him. Even Teal’c seemed impressed by the quiet confidence reflected in Miss Carter’s explanation, because even in his country, finding such knowledge in a woman was rare indeed.

 

Searching for something to say that wouldn’t offend the woman who he had already gathered could be prickly with regards to issues of her sex, Colonel O’Neill finally cleared his throat. “Well, it seems that I have a problem then, doesn’t it?” She shot him a confused look, so he further clarified, “I do not wish to be the source of any inconvenience for my neighbors. They do not know me well as of yet and I doubt that keeping my fences in such a questionable state would endear me to them at all.”

 

Not that he was worried about that sort of thing—he honestly had little care for the opinions of others. Still, there was a problem and he had been presented with a solution for it—it seemed only natural, in this situation, to act. “We will begin remedying this tomorrow. It may be slow going, but we should be able to have most of the fences repaired before the end of the season.”

 

At least now he had something to occupy his time. He was getting tired of trying to find spots to fish in the lake where Walter could not easily discover him.

 

Miss Carter remained kneeling next to him, eyes trained on his features, studying him. “If you like…” she began hesitantly. “That is, if you would care for—well. I know the perimeters of your property almost as well as my own, and by extrapolating geographic elements as well as sheep grazing patterns, well, I think I could show you what areas need tending to the most. If you wish.”

 

O’Neill really hadn’t caught much of that, but he did understand that her offer meant spending a considerable length of time with the unusual lady, which was something that he found appealing. “You wouldn’t mind? I do not wish to take you away from your considerable duties at home for too long.”

 

Another peculiar look crossed her face, as though she had expected to be reprimanded for such an offer. “No. I wouldn’t mind.”

 

“Very well then. Teal’c and I shall meet you here…tomorrow midday?”

 

She smiled then and in the face of such an expression, it was impossible not to smile even a little in return. “Yes, that shall be fine.” She turned to Teal’c and curtsied a little, then took her leave.

 

The two men watched her make her way down the hill until she was out of sight. “Teal’c?”

 

“Yes, O’Neill?”

 

“I…she’s not…she’s very…different, isn’t she?”

 

“Indeed.”

 

--

 

“It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy--it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.”

                                                                                    ~Sense and Sensibility

 

--

 

The next morning dawned a bit rainy with a touch of grey fog, which was not at all uncommon for a seaside town like Gateshire. Still, Samantha set out a little early to the meeting place in order to avoid a late arrival. After all, being prompt was one of the first lessons you learned as a General’s daughter.

 

Her mare was pleased to be out of the corral, trotting through the mud with little to no protest. The fog thinned out as she made her way up the hill, and she was momentarily surprised to see Colonel O’Neill and Teal’c already waiting, sitting astride two geldings patiently.

 

She had spent most of her evening the previous day preoccupied with thoughts of them. They were oddities in Gateshire, and as a long-established oddity, it was something she could appreciate. More than that, however, she wondered about their backgrounds—what motivated a man who by all accounts had been on the path for General to retire and move to the country abruptly? What kind of man did it take to inspire a foreigner to follow him across the sea and do the same? Was there a sordid history there, as some suspected, or was it just their respective wishes to cease the soldiering life—Lord knew that her father had often considered doing the same, despite his dedication to the job.

 

None of it really mattered, she supposed, but it weighed on her nonetheless. Still, she could be determined to think only of the present—for now, her world consisted of fences and sheep and being pleasing company.

 

Pulling up next to the fence easily, she nodded at her companions. “Good morning. You haven’t been waiting long, I hope?”

 

“No, we just got here,” O’Neill assured her. “So tell us, Miss Carter—which direction?”

 

She pointed north, where the fence stretched down the hill and into the mist. “Most of the damage is on the north side—this area was repaired not too long ago.”

 

They set off in a companionable silence, and would have continued in that manner for some time had Teal’c not surprised her by breaking it. “You have a fine animal, Samantha Carter.”

 

A bit taken aback by the stoic man’s compliment, she replied without thinking too thoroughly. “Oh, yes. Jolinar was a gift from my fiancé.”

 

“Fiancé?” O’Neill parroted before she had realized her slip.

 

“Oh. Ex-fiancé. Martin Tokra. Nice man—a barrister. Dead now, I believe.” It was interesting, from a scientific perspective—she could hear herself rambling inanely, and yet, she couldn’t seem to stop it.

 

“…Ah. Jolinar? That’s an interesting name, especially for a horse,” O’Neill commented, having the grace to ignore the rest of it.

 

Samantha couldn’t help but smile, running her fingers through the thick mane. “Yes. As our courtship progressed, it became increasingly clear that Martin was in fact, still taken with his first love—a fine lady by the name of Jolinar. In the end, she married the man and I kept the horse.”

 

The corner of his mouth tilted up ever so slightly, perhaps with a bit of bewilderment. “And yet you name your animal after her?”

 

For lack of any better response, Samantha shrugged. “A gesture of thanks, you might say.”

 

If either man were the type to laugh, she thought they might have just then. As it was, she drew half-smiles from both of them, which she considered to be a fine beginning.

 

--

 

After arriving at the first place in the fencing that really needed repair, they dismounted so that Miss Carter could show them all the faults in its current construction one more time—preferably with an explanation consisting of much shorter words, because he really hadn’t gotten much out of the last one: something about levers and pivots and the gravitational forces on a slope compared to a horizontal plane and after that, Jack had stopped trying to follow along.

 

Luckily, it seemed as though Samantha had caught on, for this time, she merely pointed to one end of a board and said, “This needs to go up here.”

 

Now those were instructions he could follow. He looked at her and smiled. “Why didn’t you say that the first time?”

 

“I did.”

 

Jack was pretty sure she hadn’t, but it didn’t matter. If Miss Carter said the fence needed to be fixed, then he’d take her at her word—after all, she certainly had more experience with such matters than he or Teal’c did. The specifics of the situation weren’t really a requirement. “As you like,” he teased lightly, and was rewarded with a wide smile in response.

 

“Forgive me. I’ll try to remember to speak more plainly for your benefit from here on,” she said lightly.

 

“Such a gesture would certainly be appreciated. I’m not sure my constitution could handle being exposed to such serious matters on a regular basis.”

 

In response, she rolled her eyes, a delightfully unreserved reaction that he reveled in. “Somehow, I think you would manage just fine.”

 

“You give me too much credit,” he assured her, noticing that her eyes kept trailing from his face to his throat. It wasn’t much of a movement, but it was slightly distracting. “Is something wrong?” he asked.

 

To his surprise, the lady that had just been jesting with him so freely flushed. “Oh. It’s nothing. Well…” she stepped a bit towards him, arms raising a bit. “Do you mind if I…?”

 

Truthfully, he hadn’t the slightest clue what she was about to do, but he figured that any excuse to touch the ever increasingly attractive Miss Carter was allowable. At his nod, she stepped even closer and her hands came to rest on his…tie?

 

Nimble fingers picked at the knot, quickly loosening it and beginning the process of refastening it before he realized that it must have been put on incorrectly. He wasn’t sure if her attention to detail was flattering or embarrassing, but at least she was kind enough not to tease him about it.

 

In fact, when she noticed what must have been a rather chagrined look cross his features, she merely smiled kindly. “It was a small error—I might not have noticed it all except that you did the same thing yesterday when putting it back on.”

 

“I did?” he asked, startled at that information.

 

“Yes. My father has similar problems—he’s so accustomed to his regimentals that he often finds pedestrian clothing more foreign to him than even Mr. Teal’c’s garb might be. I can’t tell you how frequently I have had to reorder some piece of his attire.” A final pull and she pulled away, studying him. “There. Much better.”

 

He touched it and found that it pinched significantly less now. Interesting. “My hero.”

 

Delight filled him when another roll of her eyes and an exasperated sigh were her only reply.

--

 

"One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other."

                                                                                                                 ~Emma

 

--

 

A week later, Walter Harriman was at the end of his rope. He had known when taking this job that his employer had a history of being difficult to deal with, but the true extent of the man’s obtuse nature could never have been anticipated. Instead of tending to matters that legitimately needed tending to, like dealing with the demands of tenants or the repair and restoration of the East Wing and its subsequent decoration, the man had spent the last seven days tending to that fence, a task even the lowliest farm hand could have easily completed.

 

What’s more, O’Neill had yet to accept any invitations from the local society. Not one tea attended or card game played or ball danced at—in fact, Walter himself was more widely known in Gateshire society than the man he worked for, a state of affairs that could not be allowed to continue if Colonel Jack O’Neill was to have any kind of positive reputation in his new neighborhood.

 

Desperate to change the status quo, Walter was forced to resort to extreme measures. After careful consideration, he decided that the best course of action would be to simply prevent the Colonel from continuing his work on the fence. Having decided on this course of action, he was prepared when O’Neill came to him one Thursday morning, looking predictably puzzled.

 

“Walter,” he started, bewilderment in his voice, “do you know where all of the nails might be?”

 

“Nails, sir?” Walter parroted.

 

“Yes, for the fence. We had a whole…I didn’t think Teal’c and I had gone through that many, but today they’re not….” He trailed off, glancing back at the stable as though it would suddenly provide him with a suitable answer.

 

“Perhaps you have gone through all the nails on hand. I can have someone run down to town and fetch some, if you like.”

 

“I…no, no, don’t worry about it. Teal’c and I can go ourselves this afternoon.”

 

“Very well, sir.”

 

O’Neill wandered off, still looking a bit bewildered, and Walter sighed with relief. A trip to town was a beginning, albeit a small one. At least this way people could see him, and he’d be forced to exchange words with at least a small handful of people. Now he simply had to figure out what to do with the thirteen boxes of nails currently residing under his bed.

 

--

 

Samantha Carter gritted her teeth and tried to walk a little faster without actually giving in to the urge to pass out. For once she was dressed up in full visiting gear. Certainly, that was reason enough to be uncomfortable, but on top of the unfamiliarly formal attire, the only corset she had been able to find that morning was at least one size too small. She had been putting off obtaining another new one and now was suffering for her procrastination, barely able to draw breath in the horridly tight undergarment, let alone gasp in enough air to properly hasten her way to the afternoon tea to which she was perilously close to being late for.

 

Her monthly tea with Lady Travell was what Samantha thought of as a necessary evil—evil because the woman was everything that people thought Samantha should be and nothing she actually wanted to be, but necessary because keeping the appointment meant staying on the narrow edge of good opinion that was so dearly held both by Gateshire citizens and, more importantly, General Carter himself. In one of her few allowances to these opinions, Samantha continued to don her most staid outfit, tightest corset, and horrifyingly prim boots in order to spend a miserable afternoon once a month discussing whatever small talk Lady Travell threw in her direction while in the company of all the other ladies of “good” society.

 

Of course, things never seemed to go quite smoothly. Today, for instance, Samantha had merely been running an experiment on the pH of soil with regards to the growth rates of various plants and before she knew it, it was past noon and she hadn’t even begun to dress. But was it really her fault that acidic and alkaline solutions were more interesting than the perfect recipe for a lemon pound cake?

 

All of this contributed to her current rush, trying to make her way through the main part of town without getting any of the abundant mud in the streets permanently mashed into her petticoats, a feat she had never quite mastered. (In fact, she quite suspected that the secret to walking through all sorts of muck and coming through unscathed was one of those skills passed down from mother to daughter, and as such, she had been doomed to failure by circumstance.) Still, she was making a fair amount of progress—more than two thirds of the way there and still no major stain marring her voluminous skirts.

 

That is, until she looked down for a good place to cross a particularly muddy section of street and was nearly run over by a solid wall of muscle and man coming from the opposite direction. The impact registered, and for a few seconds time seemed to slow while her balance wavered, then failed her. With what she would be a bit disturbed to know came out as a squeal, Samantha went reeling back into the mud, pulling her assailant down with her.

 

A few horrified seconds later, she opened her eyes to see Colonel O’Neill staring back at her. “You know,” she said thoughtfully, inching her way out from under him and standing up to take stock of the damage, “forget throwing shoes. I should have shot you.”

 

Strangely, this seemed to please him, if the smirk on his face was any indication. “Oh, come now. You hardly seem the type to be perturbed by a bit of dirt.”

 

Uncertain as to whether or not he meant that as a compliment, she just let it pass for now. “Any other day, you might be right. But today, I am supposed to spend an afternoon politely discussing embroidery techniques and proper menu planning over lukewarm cups of tea.”

 

O’Neill’s expression of distaste was an almost perfect personification of her own feelings on the prospect. “Good heavens. Why? That sounds dreadful.”

 

“It is, rather,” she admitted, giving up on her clothing as a lost cause. “Well, at least now they’ll have something interesting to talk about when I leave,” she said dryly.

 

“There are worse things than providing amusement for others,” O’Neill allowed.

 

Blinking at him, she smiled. “You should know. Your tie is on wrong again.”

 

“I’m standing here, covered in nearly as much mud as you are and probably looking twice as ridiculous, and yet you choose to criticize my tie?”

 

She shrugged. “I enjoy it.”

 

“Ah. Well then, by all means….”

 

Wondering why in the world a man as supposedly capable as he couldn’t seem to manage it, she stepped forward and adjusted the wayward accessory for him. Once corrected, she stepped back and met his eyes only to find them strangely expressive with an emotion she could just label as fond curiosity, and even then, it lost something in translation. “I think,” he began slowly, “that if you must attend boring teas that last for hours, you’d best come to Cheyenne Manor for them. I’m sure Walter can dredge up some suitably awful tea, and while Teal’c and I know little of weighty things like sewing techniques, I am certain that we could manage to entertain you if we put our minds to it. If all else fails, we could go fishing.”

 

“Fishing?” she repeated.

 

“Yes. The fish in my lake are quite something, you know, and Teal’c doesn’t appreciate the art of fishing quite as much as I’d like.”

 

Somehow, she didn’t find that entirely surprising. But neither did she find it surprising that O’Neill himself was a fan of the sport. “Well, I accept the offer of tea, but we’d best put off the fishing for another time. I’ve given the town quite enough to gossip about this week, I think.”

 

Looking down at the mayhem of her stain-covered dress, O’Neill smirked again. “You can always tell them that it was my handiwork.”

 

She laughed, shaking her head. “Yes, because that would lessen the scandal,” was her sarcastic reply before continuing on her way.

 

--

 

“How quick come the reasons for approving what we like!”

                                                                                                                   ~Persuasion

 

--

 

To Jack’s surprise, Miss Carter not only took him up on his offer, she arrived early the next afternoon. Even more surprising than her prompt visit was her choice of chaperones—Janet Fraiser, the local midwife, and….

 

“Daniel!” Jack exclaimed, more than a little confused at seeing the man from his past standing unexpectedly on his doorstep.

 

The younger man blinked, equally taken aback. “Jack.”

 

Miss Carter wrinkled her nose, looking between the two of them. “You two are previously acquainted, I take it?”

 

“Obviously,” Mrs. Fraiser pointed out, looking amused at the men’s discomfort. “The question is how?”

 

The story was long and rather sordid and not really one Jack was fond of recollecting. After all, there were very few polite ways to explain his state of mind four years ago after the death of his son and subsequently, his wife. Luckily, Daniel took the lead and answered the question.

 

“Jack…sorry, Colonel O’Neill…was the commanding officer of the platoon of soldiers I journeyed with to Africa four years ago,” he explained.

 

As a young man, Daniel had gone through a short period of rebellion where he had utilized his skills in languages to travel and employ himself as an interpreter for wayward citizens of the Crown. The last, and certainly the most notable, of these journeys had been to northern Africa with the Colonel’s platoon.

 

“Ah. When you met…?” Samantha began, understanding dawning in her eyes.

 

Sha’re. Yes.”

 

“Right!” O’Neill chimed in, remembering the unlikely, but fervent attachment that had developed between Daniel and the young tribal princess. He had left Daniel there and naturally assumed that he would still be there.

 

Obviously, that assumption was incorrect.

 

“What happened with…all that?” Jack finished a bit stiltedly.

 

A flash of pain lit up Daniel’s features and Samantha put her hand on his arm briefly in a comforting gesture that Jack was surprised to find himself envying. “She died.”

 

“Oh. I…I’m very sorry.” He really was, if that made any difference—Daniel’s happiness with Sha’re had been a rare and strangely beautiful thing.

 

“So am I.”

 

Silence descended on them all and Jack shifted his weight from one foot to the other, acutely conscious of the awkward air that hung over the group. “Oh! I forgot to introduce Teal’c. Teal’c, this is Daniel Jackson.” Teal’c nodded in greeting. “Daniel, Teal’c is from an area not too far from Sha’re’s village, just further down the Nile.”

 

This information seemed welcome to Mr. Jackson. “Really?”

 

“Indeed, Daniel Jackson.”

 

The affirmation sent Daniel into a detailed discussion of locations and tribes and cultural practices that filled the air as the group made their way into the garden, where Walter had decided the tea should be served. O’Neill seized this opportunity to insinuate himself next to Miss Carter once again, and because he could immediately see that Mrs. Fraiser was both clever and tolerant, he knew that if he dallied a little behind the group, she would be moderately neglectful of her chaperone duties and allow them to tarry awhile. “There’s more to that story, isn’t there?” he couldn’t help but ask.

 

The expression that crossed Miss Carter’s face was profoundly empathetic. “Yes, although I am afraid I am not informed in every particular of the situation. As you may now realize, Daniel wrote to me quite often on his travels. When he wrote of his marriage I steeled myself against the reality of never seeing my friend again—only to get word nearly a year later that his wife had died and he had not the wherewithal to return home again. I made arrangements as quickly as I could from this distance, and back he came. He told me there was a massacre and more than that he has not said, nor have I asked him. He does not speak of the whole affair often.”

 

O’Neill found himself in the rather unique position of once again admiring this young woman with whom he was only barely acquainted. “You did him a great service with neither explanation nor reason. I fear not many would have done the same.”

 

Her eyes met his own, wide and guileless. “Daniel is as near to a brother as I have, and he was in pain. What else was to be done but assist him in his time of trial?”

 

A smile played along the edges of his mouth at her sincerity. “What deeds must be accomplished to earn such devotion from you, I wonder?”

 

At that, she merely laughed. “Perhaps one day, you shall find out.”

 

Strangely, he found himself looking forward to it.

 

--

 

An hour later, Samantha Carter found herself as surprised as anyone to realize that they were actually having a nice time. The unlikely company of five had relaxed enough to engage in some real conversation—conversation where nothing like table place settings was even mentioned. And while the tea was as lukewarm as it would have been had she drank any at Lady Travell’s house, it was because the tea had been sitting neglected for some time rather than simply being served that way.

 

While Daniel and Janet quizzed Teal’c on the cultural practices of his native peoples, Samantha took a moment to let the air of Cheyenne Manor seep into her. She had always loved this estate, and visits to it were always looked forward to with great delight because of its spacious layout and welcoming feel. Somehow, the effect seemed enhanced under the purview of its new owner, though admittedly, there seemed to be a bit of an echo now that the house only sheltered two men.

 

Turning to her host, she was a bit taken aback to find him watching her silently, his intense scrutiny making her feel more than a little awkward. Nevertheless, she pressed on, refusing to let it throw her off her train of thought. “Do you find that country life is everything you thought it would be, Colonel O’Neill?”

 

Mulling over his response for awhile, the Colonel finally replied, “Yes and no. It’s a pleasant change from city life or even life in the military, but not as remote as I initially thought it would be. Walter constantly has to remind me that there is a society to be dealt with, even here. And the house is bigger than I expected—I fear it’s a bit extravagant to house just Teal’c and myself.”

 

“I don’t know, I think it suits you. But then, I’m probably biased, as I’ve always loved this house and longed to have a better acquaintance with its occupants.”

 

Abruptly, she realized how forward that must have sounded, but there was no polite way to retract such a statement. Once again feeling a little off kilter, Samantha reached for the sugar as a distraction—only to accidentally knock her arm into the teapot, spilling the remains across the table in a large, sweeping stain that seeped into the cloth below. Without being consciously aware of it, a profanity escaped her lips as she tried to mop up the mess. When she did finally realize her error, she could only be absurdly grateful that the offending word had come out in Russian—only Daniel would know her ill manners.

 

Then again, considering the mixture of shock and amusement present on Colonel O’Neill’s face, maybe not. “I suppose you speak Russian?” she asked, already resigned to her fate as an unseemly wretch of a woman.

 

“Only words like that,” he replied. “I can’t believe staid and proper Daniel would teach you such a thing.”

 

“I most certainly did not,” Daniel was predictably quick to protest.

 

“No, he didn’t. I picked up that charming little habit from Mr. Narim, I’m afraid.”

 

To Daniel and Janet, this, of course, made perfect sense. However, it certainl