SG-1
as Robin Hood and his Merry Men. Because Lyssie asked for it and suddenly, the
image of Jack in tights wouldn't go away. November 3, 2004
***
“How did this happen?”
“I’m not entirely sure,” Sam said as she looked down at the tunic and tights
she found herself wearing. “I think you’re dreaming.”
Jack considered his outfit and shuddered. “If I’m dreaming, why did my
subconscious put me in tights?”
She smirked. Man, he really was starting to rub off on her. “Good point. Maybe
it’s my dream.” Then she ogled him. Definitely a dream, then.
He started to raise an eyebrow, but Teal’c, as usual, beat him to it before
examining the large wooden staff he was holding. “This seems to be a most
ineffective weapon, O’Neill.”
“Yeah well, the name Little John never made any sense either, T. Though you fit
the role rather well, I think.”
Teal’c bowed. Because really, there wasn’t anything else to do.
“Hey, where’s Danny?”
“He’s hiding behind the bushes over there,” Sam said, gesturing vaguely.
“Why? If I can prance around in green tights, then I’m sure….”
“Forget it, Jack! I’m not coming out!”
“Hey, we’re all wearing tights, Danny boy. Don’t be so grouchy. At least we get
bows and arrows and stuff to go with them.”
“Actually sir, I have throwing knives.”
“And I don’t have either, so forget it!”
Jack sighed and signaled to Teal’c, who with a bow, reached over and pulled
Daniel out of the bushes.
“Damnit Teal’c!”
“My apologies, Daniel Jackson.”
Daniel shifted uncomfortably, trying to keep the breeze from blowing up the
voluminous skirts of the blue dress he was wearing and glare at them all at the
same time. Jack was so stunned he couldn’t even come up with a good barb.
Instead, he turned to Sam.
“What the hell did you eat before bed, Carter?!”
--
…I
have commited kittenreplyspam. (For nakedtoes, October 23, 2005)
Sam
couldn't tear her eyes away from the spectacle currently on her couch. It
wasn't that it was that unusual, especially compared to the things she saw and
worked with everyday. It's just that she had never really expected to see Jack
O'Neill stretched out on her sofa with a tiny little orange fluffball
of a kitten curled up on his stomach.
In her sentimental and completely private daydreams, she may have
imagined him there with a dog at his feet. Something large
and loyal like a retriever, something that would love Jack ardently and
forever. But...a cat?
Cats were independent. Cats were haughty. Cats were great to cuddle with and
stroke, but only on their terms. Yet, there he lay with the kitten, and while
he'd deny it, she'd swear that he was purposely breathing shallowly so as not
to disturb it.
"You bought a cat?” she finally asked.
"You like cats," he replied a little defensively.
"I know I like cats. I didn't know you liked cats."
He glanced down at the fluff and then back at her. "Well, I was on my way
to the pound, you know, to pick out a big and manly dog, and there was this
sound coming from under my car..." If he could flail without waking the
tiny creature, he probably would have been by now. "And there she was, all
wet and pathetic and she has big blue eyes that look just like yours and she
kept making that sound...I couldn't just leave her there."
Sam had no choice but to melt at that, because he was so earnest and sweet and
even if that hadn't been enough, the kitten poked its head up with a "Mrow?" and a blink that would have stopped even Kinsey
in his tracks.
Scooping up the tiny animal, she nuzzled it gently. "Of course
not..."
Jack, looking considerably relieved that the issue was now decided, scooted
closer to them both and scratched behind its ears. "Can we still get a
dog?"
She sighed, knowing the battle was lost. "Yes. But I swear to God if you
start looking at white picket fences, I'll leave you in a heartbeat."
--
Comment ficlet written for Kate,
Sam had expected a lot of different reactions to her surprise
visit in
To be fair, Jack was currently asleep, so he could hardly be blamed for his
lack of enthusiasm. Still, as she situated herself under the covers, the very
girly part of her that she made many efforts not to indulge pouted a little.
"Feet're cold," Jack slurred, huddling even
further into the down comforter.
"Sorry," she whispered, knowing that was the truth. "It was
raining."
For awhile, that seemed to be the end of the conversation, and she resigned
herself to having a more enthusiastic greeting in the morning. It wasn't until
she had gotten comfortable and was on the edge of sleep that he rolled over
again, his arm pulling her towards him while he nestled closer, invading her
space in all the right ways.
"It's you," he observed, sounding as delighted as a man who was
mostly asleep could manage.
"Last time I checked," she replied, humoring him.
"You're here," was the next exclamation.
Running her fingers through his mussed hair and not bothering to curb an
affectionate smile, she responded with, "Yes."
"S'good," he managed before dropping off
again.
Well, she had wanted him to
acknowledge her presence. Now, she could barely move--he was sprawled on top of
her, and, she suspected, was ever so slightly drooling on her chest. Still,
that very girly part of her insisted that this was the best idea she had had
all week.
--
Icon inspired ficlet
for fallenbelle,
Physically
incapable of tearing his gaze away from the picture perfect site of Sam
sprawled across his desk in nothing but stilettos, Jack’s brain futilely
scrambled for something to say. Unfortunately, a sort of strangled “Unnngh” was the only thing that actually managed to make it
out of his mouth.
An
all-too familiar smirk appeared across Carter’s face as she nonchalantly
flipped through a report. “How articulate, Jack.”
“Wah…well…words and…that…don’t
mix!” he insisted, still gaping—although he finally managed to completely shut
and lock the door to his office.
“Mmm,” she said absently. “I could put my clothes back on.”
He
started loosening his tie. “And waste perfectly wonderful naked Carter? I don’t
think so.”
She
laughed, giving up at feigning indifference. “Missed me, then?”
He leaned
down and nuzzled her ear. “Hey, I’m not the one naked on the desk. Speaking of,
how did you even get in here?”
She sat
up and wrapped all of those long, long legs around his waist, with her arms
circling his neck and a warm mouth lingering on his collarbone. “Your assistant
let me in before she locked up for the night. She’s noticed that you’re r
He
chuckled, pulling her head back because he had to kiss this crazy, shameless, perfect woman. “Go figure.”
--
Season Six (Post-Descent) Jonas ficlet for control_freak80,
Still
flying high from his first official mission with SG-1, Jonas walked into the
commissary and made a beeline for the cafeteria line—after all, it had been
hours since he had polished off that banana on the alkesh.
“Jonas?”
He turned
to see none other than Major Davis in line behind him, smiling in greeting.
“Major Davis! Nice to see you! Glad to see you made it back to the SGC all
right.”
“You
too,” the man said, se
“Definitely,”
agreed Jonas with fervor, loading up his plate and grabbing a few extra bananas
for good measure, peeling one while they progressed down the line.
Major
Davis watched his actions with a quiet sort of intensity. “You really like
bananas.”
Honestly,
Jonas had never really thought about it. “Errr…yeah,
I guess so. There’s nothing really like th
Excited
at the prospect, Jonas swallowed a big bite of banana quickly. “Really? You wouldn’t mind?”
Oddly,
Major Davis se
“Great!
See you then!” Jonas agreed, reaching the end of the line and making his way
happily to the table where the rest of SG-1 sat.
“You se
“Oh,
sorry Colonel, I’m just excited. Major Davis is taking me out this weekend.”
At this
news, the Colonel coughed a little, exchanging a quick glance with Sam. “Well,
that’s…nice. But in the future? How
about you just…not tell us. And we won’t…uh…ask.”
Finishing
off the last bite of his banana, Jonas nodded agreeably. “Whatever
you say, Colonel.”
--
Fir
When Jack
had accepted the promotion to fire chief, he had been notably ignorant of what
the job entailed. And while he liked being able to watch out for his men and
run things the way he wanted, there was one distinct and notable disadvantage
that came with the higher office.
Paperwork.
There
were many things O’Neill didn’t like in this world, and of th
Three
days later, Jack was finally nearing the bottom of the pile. Although he still
had a stack about an inch thick, there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
And God forbid anyone keep him from it—this was a man
on a mission.
So when
T, normally an always welcome visitor in Jack’s office, knocked on the door,
there was more than enough reason to growl in displeasure.
“Chief….”
“T, I
swear to God. I’ve spent three days working my way through this mess and I’m
finally close, so would you please
just….”
The
bigger man held up his hands in surrender. “Hey, Chief, sure.
I just thought you might wanna know that your wife called to inform you that
she’s in labor. Somehow, I think if you miss the birth of your first born
because of paperwork, Sam’s wrath will be a hell
of a lot worse than
Jack
actually paled at the thought. His wife was way
scarier than his boss.
Plus, uh,
baby. He was having a baby. Or, okay, Sam
was having a baby. His
baby. Their baby? Oh hell, he didn’t know. Political
correct
He leapt
out of the chair, searching for his keys, his coat, anything and everything.
T’s big hand on his shoulder finally made him pause. “I can’t find my keys,”
Jack said, a bit dazed.
T
smirked. “No prob, Chief. We’ll give you a ride.”
Jack
peered out the door to the bright red fire engine, freshly washed. Now, that was a way to make an entrance. “Excellent.”
--
Season Seven-ish
ficlet spam for karma_aster,
It didn’t
escape Sam’s notice that Colonel O’Neill se
And she
had to admit, knowing that Daniel had accidentally gotten himself married to
yet another alien princess was more
than a little amusing. However, refusing to come out of the tent just because
he had misinterpreted the meaning of the cer
“Honestly,
Daniel,” she said through the flap of the tent, “It’s not like this is the
first time you’ve accidentally gotten married. Isn’t hiding a bit extr
“I’m not
hiding because I got married! I’m
used to making that particular
blunder!” came a strident voice through the canvas.
“Well
then, what’s the probl
Silence
was their only reply for a few tense moments, before a timid voice began, “The
cer
“Yeeeees….”
“As it
turns out, it was a group cer
Sam
swallowed a suddenly tight throat, recalling with vivid clarity the way she and
the colonel had walked side by side through the square, his hand firmly on her
back to lead her through the crowd…. “Oh, boy.”
Jack se
“…This
would be why I’m hiding in the tent.”
She knew
that there was probably some reason to be angry here—if nothing else, annulling
an off world marriage was a five page form that was really annoying to fill
out—but somehow, the first thing that came out of her mouth as she gazed at
Jack was, “Huh.”
His eyes
settled on hers and there was that
particular look in th
She
considered carefully. “For now.”
He rocked
back on his heels, studying her for a long time before his lips quirked into a
half-smile. “I can live with that,” he agreed.
She
blushed a bit, but dared to hope. “Yeah?”
Brown
eyes swept down her body and the look he sent her was a whole new one—one that
left the first look in the dust. “Oh,
yeah,” he said
They
stared at each other in silence, grinning like the idiots she sometimes thought
they were, until he finally looked away. “Daniel, you can come out now. Carter
has saved you from a painful future. But if we end up having to fill out those
annulment papers, you’re so doing
ours on top of your own.”
Crazy Daniel
hair followed by owl-wide eyes popped out of the tent, darting between the two
of th
Sam
grinned, mentally listing P4X-277 as one of her top five favorite planets. “If.”
--
Lost City ficlet
for llorelei,
She
wondered through the entire drive what, exactly, she
was going to say to him. It’s not like there was etiquette for this sort of
thing, a nice little book that listed appropriate conversation topics in case
of impending mental override by alien imprintation. There was always what she wanted to say—but that was out of the
question, for more reasons than she cared to think about.
Besides,
she was never really sure if he would want to hear it. And if he didn’t,
well…she couldn’t have faced that.
But it
was a nice sort of fantasy that she entertained, where he would open the door
and look at her and know and that
finally, something could be said or done to fill the ache echoing in her chest.
Even if
it was too late to make much of a difference, it would have been something to
hang onto once whatever happened…happened.
When he
answered the door and stared at her in surprise, she knew that it really had
been a fantasy—when it came down to it, neither one of th
And then
his hand brushed her back casually, in passing, and she realized the truth—it
wasn’t because there was nothing there that they didn’t talk about it. They
ignored it because what was there was
bigger than either of th
--
Emancipation ficlet
for llorelei,
“Jack,”
Daniel admonished as they made their way out of the tent.
“Daniel,”
Jack responded, feigning innocence.
“Jack.”
Knowing
he could play this game longer than Daniel could, Jack just smirked, putting
his sunglasses back on. “Daniel.”
“Jack…you
were…ogling.”
He didn’t
bother to deny it—what would be the point? “It’s some dress, that’s all.”
Daniel
fumed. “No, Jack. Sam’s some woman. That’s more important.”
Sometimes,
being on a team with Mr. Sensitivity sort of sucked the fun right out of
things. “Daniel, just drop it.”
“She’s my
friend! I mean, I complimented her, but you…you
were….”
Jack
tilted his head, curious now. “I was what?”
“…Imagining
her naked.”
At that,
the colonel sent his geeky little friend that clearly stated, ‘that’s enough’. “Just admiring the view, Daniel. An innocent compliment
never hurt anyone.”
Although
Jack would never admit it, his compliment had been anything but innocent, and
his att
Glancing
behind him towards the flap of the tent, Jack had the sinking feeling that it
sure as hell wouldn’t be the last.
--
Icon inspired ficlet
for lyssie,
“Holy…Carter,
what in the hell are you wearing?”
Legs that
didn’t se
The
little black dress was every cliché in the book—and looking at Sam in it, Jack
realized that he was now going to be forced to reevaluate his opinion on
clichés forever. “Uh, yeah. What’s the occasion?”
She shrugged, eyes too wide to be believed. “Thought
I’d seduce you.”
Now that caused him to bark out in laughter,
which probably wasn’t the smartest move considering her immediate put-upon look. “Hey, sorry, sorry,” he apologized. “It’s just…so
outrageously unnecessary.”
Sam quirked an eyebrow. “Do tell.”
He
fingered the silky material of the dress, sighing happily. “Not that I don’t
appreciate the effort, Carter, but I married you because you pretty much turn
me on in anything. Sweatpants. BDUs. My
boxers. Or better yet, nothing at all.”
She was
silent and he thought back over the last stat
Her
laughter could be felt in little puffs of air against his neck and she rested
her head on his shoulder. “Good to know. You realize that this means I’m taking
off the shoes before sex. These things pinch.”
A small
part of him mourned for the oh-so-delicious shoes.
The rest
of him only processed the word ‘sex’, mentally connected it with ‘Carter’, and
was too busy celebrating to care much about footwear.
--
For familyarchives:
Five things Vala did to torture Cameron that only made
him smile.
The probl
Probl
Luckily,
it didn’t take long to settle on Cameron as an easily available alternative.
After all, he was there all the time and just as attractive and had an enthusiasm
that Daniel lacked about this whole SG-1 thing that she could relate to.
With her
new target in mind, Vala began to act accordingly,
developing a haphazard plan of contrary behavior that she felt was certain to
drive Cameron insane. Her hair went in pigtails almost all of the time now,
because
And
finally, she continued to flirt with any male within a five mile radius. Outrageously. Somehow, he se
Unfortunately,
so far, her plan was having little success.
All he
did with the pigtails was pull th
And the flirting? Well, he didn’t se
--
For fallenbelle:
Five secrets about Samantha Carter that she doesn't want you to know.
1. She
didn’t always want to be an astrophysicist. She didn’t even always want to be
an astronaut. Her first great aspiration was too trite for words, because from
the ages of four to nine, she had wanted nothing more than to be a ballerina
when she grew up. She had the tutu and the lessons and she used the same single
minded drive that she now uses to save the world on a nearly daily basis to
find the center of balance in a pirouette.
After
all, when she pranced around the house in ballet costumes and fairy wands, her
father knew what to do with her, twirling her around so fast that she had no
recourse but to giggle and bury her head in his shoulder like the daughter who
was average and ordinary like the one he imagined when he was away.
It was
when she took apart the refrigerator to try and fix the buzzing her mother was
always complaining about that Jacob froze.
2. It was obvious to everyone that Sam didn’t
take to Vala right away. But the
reason – well. How could Sam possibly explain that some part of her was
jealous, because in a few weeks Vala had entrenched herself into this new, strange version of SG-1 in a way Sam
was still struggling to do? Or that she sort of resented how warm Teal’c was
with the new arrival when he had yet to refer to Sam as anything but “Colonel
Carter” despite nine years of fighting side by side. Or that she envied the way
she could get away with anything, because people just se
Mostly,
she couldn’t find words to explain that she resented Vala
merely because she wasn’t Janet. It was ridiculous and silly, but Sam hadn’t
exactly had a lot of f
Finally,
it occurred to her in passing that Janet would have found Vala
hysterical.
Somehow,
being nice to her se
3. She
never, ever lets herself forget her mistakes. In fact, often times, she has th
So when
people tease her about working too much, it’s easy to laugh th
4. She
has a notebook locked up at home of ideas she will never show anyone –
especially not the United States Air Force. One of the drawbacks of having a
mind that works in ways even she doesn’t understand is that sometimes, her
brain gets away from her. The power she knows is contained on those pages could
destroy…everything. And because she has a conscience, she will never willingly
let people see that notebook.
But
somehow, she quite force herself to get rid of
it.
5. She
had loved her job at Area 51. A lot. It was days of
science and brainstorming and being able to work an eight hours day (okay,
eleven) without having to worry about alarms every half hour and being called
away from a sensitive experiment. There were no guns (except the laser one she
had been working on reverse engineering) and no threat of impending doom.
She had
had weekends off regularly, and used th
Sam
hadn’t realized how ready for that life she was until it had been taken away.
--
For karma_aster:
Five things about Sam that Jack thinks are unbearably cute
1. She is
forever losing one sock. Sure, he knows that occasionally, they just disappear.
But it took awhile before he realized that it happens to her more often than just
about anyone he’s ever met. He thinks it’s because she has this habit of
stripping in incr
2. After
sex – really, really good sex – she snores. Not a little snore or a r
Luckily,
he snores, too – even after only mediocre sex (which he likes to think is a
rarity with th
3. When
she’s “not working”, he’ll find scribbles all over everything. Equations jotted
on the m
4. When
she knows ahead of time that he’s coming over, she cooks. The rest of his
visit, she won’t go near the kitchen, but that first night, she’ll always try
at some surreal sense of normalcy – roasted chicken or baked potatoes. He’d
tell her that it’s unnecessary, except that well, he really hates airplane
food.
But then,
he suspects that’s why she does it in the first place.
5. She
sings along to every song that she listens to over a certain decibel level.
Never mind that she usually doesn’t know the words, never mind that she
definitely can’t sing, words come out all the same.
What he really finds amusing though, are the words she’ll substitute when she’s
filling in her own version of the song. He’ll never forget the verse she sang
to Carmen – Daniel tripped down the ramp
today and somehow managed to sprain his ankle. Cameron laughed at him a lot,
until Vala tripped him and he went flying.
Sometimes,
he thinks their entire lives should be put to an opera, with Sam writing the
lyrics. Admittedly, though, it would probably end up a little more Gilbert
& Sullivan than Carmen.
--
For lyssie:
Five things about Daniel that everyone except Landry misses.
1. He thinks that Daniel came back from the dead that last time with a touch of
arthritis in right hand. Landry figures it was a matter of time before all that
resurrection stuff didn’t go quite as planned, and really, he has no proof. But
Daniel always sits on his left at briefings, and he’s noticed that on rainy
days, the archeologist takes substantially fewer notes.
2. He may
have been bad with a gun once upon a time, but now, Landry is pretty sure that
Daniel could out shoot half of the SGC Marines. Hank’s not really sure how much
of that is conscious and how much of it was bourn out of a sense of
self-preservation, but considering that it’s Daniel, he’s betting on the
latter. Because, better shot or not,
3. That
being said, Landry knows that
4. They
were talking once about Landry’s failed marriage and he couldn’t be sure, but
he got the definite feeling that
5. Still,
Landry’s pretty sure that really,
Of
course, he ignores the fact that he’s seen