Stargate: SG-1-A Drinking Game

Because we have warped, warped minds…here it is, the shippy, silly, Stargate drinking game. Please, do not try this without expecting to get drunk, and thus, do not drive after playing. It is a bad idea. Tequila or vodka works best, but in an emergency, any alcoholic drink will suffice, substituting one very large gulp for every required shot. For the underage, M&Ms or other chocolaty sweets may be substituted for shots. But be warned that excessive playing of the game that way could very well lead to stomach aches or cavities. Mind your dental hygiene, people.

Drink One Shot when:

• Jack says “For cryin’ out loud!”
• Sam uses some variation of the phrase “theoretically possible”.
• Daniel gets injured.
• Teal’c says, “Indeed”.
• Janet comes after any member of the team with needles or an MRI machine.
• There is any mention of/reference to Mary Steenburgen, The Wizard of Oz, Starsky & Hutch, or the Simpsons.
• Every time you hear, “Chevron 7…locked!”
• Every time Thor shows undue fondness for Jack.
• Any time a baked good is mentioned or consumed (Strangely, we have decided that Jello does count as a baked good, merely because we’re the ones in charge here and we say so).
• Every time Jack blows something up.

Drink Two Shots when:

• Jack and Daniel bicker.
• Jack and Sam share an “intense” look.
• One of Sam’s male worshippers dies.
• Daniel gets kidnapped/held hostage.
• Jacob says some variation of, “Selmak will take care of me!”
• Teal’c goes into a “deep state of kel’no’reem”.
• An alien chick fixates on Daniel.
• A Russian dies.
• Every time Chevron 7 will *not* lock.

Drink Three Shots when:

• Cassandra, Charlie, Shifu, or R’yac is mentioned or seen.
• The show opens with the team running from hostile fire/explosions.
• A DeLuise guest stars. (If it’s as Pete, then more than the allotted three shots is allowed, if merely to get through the pain.)
• Jack and Sam hug, kiss in some weird hallucinatory way, or cuddle.

Drink the Whole Bottle, Do A Jig, and Call It A Night when:

• Jack and Sam finally get their act together and hook up (in the real world!).